Sometimes the hardest part of a dream is not chasing it… but doing everything within your power, only to discover that the road was never truly open to you from the beginning.

Years of study, research, conferences, publications, and awards made me believe I held the keys to closed doors. What I later learned was that some doors are not opened by qualifications alone.

Like everyone else, I had my own dream.

As I mentioned in previous episodes, the dream that accompanied me throughout my university years was to become a faculty member.

I believed I possessed the qualifications, capabilities, and determination required for such a path.

When that dream was first shattered because of my class ranking, I refused to surrender. Instead, I pursued postgraduate studies in the hope of reaching the same destination through a different route.

My attention turned toward newly established universities and institutions across Egypt that were seeking young academic talent.

The journey began in Ismailia after earning my master’s degree and continued after completing my PhD across many of Egypt’s emerging universities.

Throughout those years, I worked harder than ever.

I published research papers, participated in scientific conferences, authored books, received awards, and continuously sought opportunities to strengthen both my academic and professional profile.

With every academic vacancy announcement, I found myself returning to the same dream, just as many of my fellow master’s and doctoral graduates did.

Each time, I placed everything I had achieved on the table before the selection committee. My qualifications. My research. My publications. My experience. My achievements, Yet, unfortunately, it was never enough.

I prepared for interviews the way an athlete prepares for a championship final.

I organized my documents, refined my presentations, reviewed the latest research in the field, and rehearsed every possible question. I practiced repeatedly and refined every detail.

After each interview, based on the reactions of committee members during and after the meeting, my adrenaline would reach its highest level, and my hopes would soar.

Not because I was certain of success. But because I knew I had done everything I possibly could. There was nothing more I could have given.

In one particular interview, I was even congratulated by a member of the committee and by people close to the process.

For a moment, I truly believed the dream was finally within reach.

That years of effort were about to bear fruit. Then came the familiar disappointment. The position went to someone else. Someone no one had expected. Someone who appeared from nowhere. Perhaps someone many of us had never even seen on the interview day.

There always seemed to be an invisible candidate who appeared at the last moment and walked away with the position.

For reasons known only to those involved, dreams repeatedly collided with the realities of favouritism, personal connections, and competing interests.

The journey continued.

From Aswan in the south to the New Valley, From Arish in the east to universities across the Nile Delta. From one institution to another. From one vacancy announcement to the next, Yet the outcome remained the same. Every road seemed to lead to the same destination.

Despite that, I never chose the path of legal disputes or formal challenges.

I do not present that as an act of heroism, nor do I criticize those who chose differently.

I simply believed that such a path would not change the reality I was facing. Perhaps I was wrong.

But I always felt that my energy was better spent searching for another door than standing indefinitely in front of one that had already closed. Over time, disappointment slowly turned into doubt.

I found myself confronting a difficult possibility:

Perhaps there was simply no place for me in that world. Perhaps it was never meant to be my path. But life had another chapter waiting.

Just when I thought every door had closed, another one appeared.

A new academic department dedicated to Sports Sciences was being established within one of the leading academic institutions in Egypt and the Arab world. When the opportunity arose, I immediately became involved. I contributed to curriculum development, course design, and the academic foundation of the program. For the first time in years, I felt renewed hope. A sense that the previous years had not been wasted. But after two years, I realized that I was chasing another illusion.

In some institutions, every individual is assigned a specific role and expected to remain within its boundaries regardless of effort, competence, or achievement. When I understood that reality, I chose to move on. Even when I later attempted to build upon my academic and research accomplishments through promotion and advancement, that dream once again collided with reality.

That was when I learned a lesson no university had ever taught me.

Some dreams are meant to be achieved. Others are meant to achieve something within us. Sometimes a dream exists not as a destination, but as the force that keeps us moving forward. Its purpose may be to shape who we become rather than to deliver the title or position we seek. I never completely abandoned the dream. But I gradually accepted that not every dream is destined to come true. And I came to realize that the true reward was never waiting at the finish line. The reward was the journey itself, the knowledge I gained, the experiences I lived, the people I met, the lessons I learned.

And the new version of myself that emerged from this long journey. I am not encouraging anyone to give up on their dreams.

In fact, I may have been wrong when I loosened my grip on some of mine. And perhaps if I had the chance to do it all again, I would follow the same path. What I do encourage is persistence.

Continue working, continue learning, continue searching for new doors whenever old ones close. Because life does not end when a door closes. It does not stop when an opportunity is lost. And it should never be reduced to a single dream, no matter how important that dream may seem. I also pray for a future where merit is valued above favouritism, where opportunities are earned through competence, and where talented people are not deprived of chances they deserve.

I may have lost the position I pursued for many years… but I gained something more lasting than any title: experience, knowledge, and the ability to begin again.

If there is one message I would like every student, researcher, and dreamer to take from this story, it is this:

Never allow someone else’s rejection of you to become your rejection of yourself, never let a closed door convince you that the road has ended, and if the door to your dream closes today, do not allow it to close the door of hope within you.

To be continued…