Disagreement Destroys Affection in the Era of the Dictatorship of Opinion and Relationships

Written by Dr. Hamada Alantably

In our relationships with others and our daily interactions, we frequently appoint ourselves as judges and executioners over the opinions, behaviors, and actions of those around us. Yet, the foundational principle in our faith is freedom, as Almighty God says: “To you be your religion, and to me be mine” (Surah Al-Kafirun), and in another verse: “And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another” (Surah Al-An’am).

However, we forget or willfully overlook these noble verses and begin imposing our views on those around us, convincing ourselves that we alone understand, comprehend, perceive, and do what is right, while any other opinion or action is inherently wrong. Not only that, but we grant ourselves the right to condemn others for it and attack them, sometimes even escalating to insults and public trials under the guise of religion, right versus wrong, and halal versus haram.

We fail to realize that such behavior mirrors the pretext used by extremists to justify bloodshed; at their core, they act as judges, declaring one person a disbeliever and another a believer. Know, my friend, that when you pass judgments on those around you, you will only ever be held accountable for your own actions, as God Almighty states: “O you who have believed, upon you is [responsibility for] yourselves. It will not harm you those who have gone astray if you have been guided. To Allah is your return all together” (Surah Al-Ma’idah).

Therefore, I urge myself and you to refrain from appointing ourselves as judges over those around us, and I remind you of Imam Al-Shafi’i’s famous saying:

“My opinion is correct with the possibility of being wrong, and the opinion of others is wrong with the possibility of being correct.”

You are not in my place, you have not lived through my circumstances, and you do not hold my exact convictions to judge that this is right and that is wrong. Besides, who ever decreed in the first place that you are entirely right and I am entirely wrong? Is it not entirely possible that both of us are right, just approaching things through different paths?

Let us always make the maxim “Disagreement in opinion does not ruin the bond of affection” our guiding motto. Unfortunately, however, we lack a true culture of disagreement. We must realize that each of us has our own convictions, that our differences are a form of mercy, and that everyone should be allowed to hold their perspective—whether right or wrong. We are not judges or executioners; we are human beings who are prone to making mistakes and getting things right, far from infallible.

Straighten up, may God have mercy upon you.

By Dr. Hamada Alantably